My first glance at you, I don't feel anything. It's just another empty numbness. However, time that pass by bring us together.We began to share stories and everything . At that moment, I still don't feel anything. Just another, social life. Indeed, I'm cold. My soul is forever winter. Yet somehow, when the "social life" begin to deteriorating and leaving only two of us in the chain. Well it still nothing to me, they are only a bunch of social life. People are nothing but passerby to me. However, seeing your vulnerable tears somehow make me vows myself to protect you from the preposterous world.
And it was one of biggest mistakes I ever made.
I believed that I'm the embodiment of hatred and power.Someone like me deserve no mercy or show any pity.However it seems like my forever winter is melting. My walls of solitude that I build with hatred and sorrow had collapsed. I begun to indulge and drown in your emotions and I admit my loss. You are the happiest person I ever met. Somehow I begin to cling on you. Do you hear my soul whispering
"Friend,I'll get stronger and I'll protect you.I promise.But for now be happy.I'll keep you secure though my life will be in the line"
It is sadistic and ironic when I said that I'll protect you from the vicious world but what I need to protect you is from insidious me. I will be your greatest pain sooner or later.I know somehow that I will break you, shatter you and left you hurt.That is one of the fact that I can't face.It hurt me more then you can ever imagine, knowing that I will be one who will be the cause of you misery. Its tearing me apart to know that I'll be the one who will left you with the greatest pain. I love you so much that I want to break you and I'm so sorry.I know that I should not step into this intertwine relationship at first. Now I'm trapped. This feeling is killing me, slowly eating my soul out.
Please be on alert.Always on your defense.Be on constant vigilance.Don't let yourself be compelled by me.I'm good-for-nothing.Know that I'm a hypocrite, who know that one day I will turn you back and stab your back.I bad-mouth about other people to you and who know that I will do the same to you. Please know that,I'm a knave, I love to lie.Don't trust me.I might get reckless and break your heart. Know that I'm full of vengeance and hatred .I have a cancerous soul of envious. I'm not what you see.
Please my friend , be save from me.
I can't stop from loving and hurting you but know that I've been nothing but sincere since the winter in my soul melted.I'm so sorry for being the cause of pain.I don't regret meeting you.Noted that I'll always be there. I might not be how true friend should be and I don't have what it needs to qualified to be a best friend I can only offer my vows which is to be your friend and protect you with all I have.
